At some point in every woman’s life, she may confuse asking questions with questioning herself. We should, of course, ask ourselves questions that enable us to learn and grow, but it is important to stay away from negative internal dialogue during this process. When you start to “question yourself”, make the switch to the powerful, positive questions below instead! Share them with the mothers and daughters in your life this Mother’s Day.
Instead of asking: “Do I look fat?”
Ask: “Am I comfortable with myself?”
In today’s society, we are surrounded by photoshopped images of ultra-thin female bodies. As a result, it can be easy to feel negative about our own body image. We stand in front of a mirror inspecting every inch of ourselves, hearing the question in our heads, “Do I look fat?” When you hear this voice in your head, flip the question on its head and instead ask, “Am I comfortable with myself?” This new question allows us to assess both the positive and negative aspects of ourselves. It takes the focus off our weight so we can take a look at the full picture of who we are, inside and out!
Instead of asking: “Am I making others happy?”
Ask: “Do I make myself happy?”
Women, especially mothers, often feel that they are being selfish if they don’t put someone else’s happiness first. We feel that it is our duty to take care of other people and make sure that they are happy. However, when we are happy and fulfilled, we are much better caretakers, mothers, and friends. Focusing on how happy we make ourselves in turn allows us to make others happy… it’s infectious!
Instead of asking: “Am I good enough?”
Ask: “How do I feel about myself?”
Comparing ourselves to others can end up hurting our egos. Ideals about what is considered to be “good enough” are relative; what I might consider “good”, you might not – and vice versa! Changing this question to focus on how you feel about yourself allows you to assess the question from a much more positive and powerful angle.
Instead of asking: “What am I missing out on?”
Ask: “Am I having fun?”
We often have to sacrifice “fun” activities for life’s responsibilities. And, no matter what we do, we will always be “missing out” on some experience. Instead of asking yourself, “What am I missing out on?”, you should ask yourself if you have fun with the things you do get to experience! Having fun might mean jamming out to your favorite song around the house, or curling up on the couch with a good book. What is important is not what you do, but that you enjoy doing it and add fun into your daily routine!
Instead of asking: “What do other people think of me?”
Ask: “How do I want to be remembered?”
Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. In this day and age it is almost impossible to not be concerned with how others think of us. We always strive to make a good impression or fit in. Wondering what others might think of us can influence us to change the way we act. In doing so, we lose a part of our authentic self. Instead, focus on being a positive influence on those around you, creating beloved memories along the way.
Make a promise to yourself today to be more conscious of the questions you ask yourself. Change takes time, so be patient and positive with yourself, and take baby steps. It takes about a month to create a new habit, so we will check in next month with another blog to see how you are doing!